Every Emotional Stage of an All-Nighter

At some point during everyone’s four or nine years in college, the inevitable happens — you have to pull an all-nighter. They can be more common for some than others, but everyone is bound to have at least one before they cross the stage on their graduation day. Freshman may even look forward to their first college all-nighter, not realizing the psychological, physical, and emotional torment they put you through. Let’s break down each stage:

7 p.m.

Um, excuse me, when did it get dark outside? I still have so much more work to do…

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9 p.m.

Complete darkness. This is real. I’m studying at nighttime. I did not plan for this. What is civilization doing outside? Are they having fun without me?

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10 p.m.

Still hanging on to that glimmer of hope that maybe I’ll be done soon. Maybe not in time to go out and enjoy the evening, maybe not even in time to enjoy some tv, but maybe I’ll get to bed at a somewhat reasonable hour. Is that too much to ask for?

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11:55 p.m.

WHAT? It can’t already be 11. It’s not even 11:30, it’s straight up 11:55. THAT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT. How is this possible? Wait, how did I study for almost two hours straight without once looking at the clock? Note to self: maybe these all-nighters aren’t such a bad idea…

12:30 a.m.

These are definitely a bad idea. How was I so much less tired just 35 MINUTES AGO?

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1:05 a.m.

When did 10 p.m. turn into 1 a.m…This is the absolute WORST time to fall asleep. If I go to bed now, not only will I not have finished all my homework, I will be tired all day tomorrow. But if I press through… Well, we know what happens when I press through. Maybe I’ll just see how I feel in 10 minutes…

2:40 a.m.

Welp. I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now. The all-nighter has taken ahold of me. It’s time to give in.

2:45 a.m.

YOOOOO I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT

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2:47 a.m.

Maybe I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes…

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2:48 a.m.

Why can’t I close my eyes

3:10 a.m.

Must. Make. Coffee. But. Can’t. Feel. Legs.

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3:40 a.m.

I think that coffee actually made me more sleepy…

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4:01 a.m.

*~wHaT aRe ThEsE sTrAnGe FeEliNgS i’M hAvInG~*

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4:02 a.m.

WHAT WAS THAT I SAW SOMETHING

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4:20 a.m.

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’… keep those fingers rollin’

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4:21 a.m.

Why am I so weird

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4:22 a.m.

What is existence

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4:23 a.m.

Have I had any actual thoughts for the last 60 seconds or was I just staring at the wall?

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4:24 a.m.

Wait am I hungry?

rev up those fryers

4:25 a.m.

Maybe this all-nighter has gotten the best of me. Maybe I really should give in and power nap for just, like, two hours.

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4:26 a.m.

Still contemplating sleep…

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4:27 a.m.

Not sure if still contemplating sleep or actually sleeping…

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4:28 a.m.

OKAY MAKE UP YOUR MIND

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4:29 a.m.

Alright, alright. I’ll set my alarm for 30 minutes. No, 40 minutes. Okay let me just finish this one small thing first…

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6:10 a.m.

Oh. Is that sunlight? I forgot that was a thing. I was beginning to think I was trapped in my own eternal nightmare.

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6:40 a.m.

….Aaaaand I’m finished with my homework! Just in time to lay down and get a full twenty minutes of sleep before my alarm goes off.

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7:00 a.m.

*Alarm going off* Is this real? Is anything real? Did I honestly just fall asleep? Wait, did I really pull an all-nighter or was that just the most elaborate dream ever? Ugh, just five more minutes…

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7:05 a.m.

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Whether planned or unintentional, all-nighters are cornerstone learning experiences in anyone’s college education. Here’s to hoping I never have another one after I graduate!

What are some of the weird things you do during an all-nighter? Tell me on Twitter and I might retweet you!

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Finals, Freshman Year vs. Senior Year

A lot can change in four years.

When you realize it’s time to start studying for finals

Freshman year:

parks-and-rec-leslie-knope-do-it-fierce-power

Senior year:

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Getting ready to go study

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Trying to study in the library

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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LOL NOPE #StudyingAtHome

Fall semester finals

Freshman year:

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via Twitter

Senior year:

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Spring semester finals

Freshman year:

image

Senior year:

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This will do.

Not drinking because you have to study

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

kim wine

While studying

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Calculating what grade you need on the final in order to pass the class

Freshman year:

6355058802894596842142617408_this one

Senior year:

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Deciding whether or not you should stop studying and just go for the passing grade

Freshman year:

Grades-gif

Senior year:

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Study in groups

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Your relationship with coffee

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

coffee-time

When you realize how long you’ve been studying

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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After five minutes…

Trying to balance sleep and studying

Freshman year:

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK

Senior year:

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When your mom calls you while you’re studying

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Trying to find time to relax during finals

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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After hours of studying

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Checking in with your professor before the test

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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How you think you’ll do on the test

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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During the test

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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After you finish the test

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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Checking your final grade

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

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How you feel when you’re finally done with all of your finals

Freshman year:

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Senior year:

george-michael

When you’re a freshman, all you can see are four more years of finals ahead. By the time you’re a senior, however, you already have yours eyes on that sweet, sweet prize — your degree. May 16th, here I come!

Disagree? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter and I might retweet you!

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Group Projects, As Told By a Super Senior

We’ve all been there. You’re in some class that your major requires you to take, surrounded by 34 other bozos who are all just trying to get by. You do your best to simply show up, takes notes, and pass the class; when suddenly, your whole world changes. Your professor forces you to actually MAKE CONTACT with some of the other people in this class who you DON’T EVEN KNOW in order to do some sort of group project. Greattttt. Here we go again.

Unfortunately, the best advice I can give in this situation is to work hard and try to get along with everyone. Some professors really try to gauge how much effort each person put into a group project and base everyone’s grades off of that, while others simply give a flat group grade. Either way, you’re better off doing as much work as you can. So, while you’re taking a break from all that work, enjoy my take on the monstrosity known as a “group project.”

1. The moment the professor announces that there will be a group project.

Kanye

At first, you may think back to your younger years when group projects were blessings that meant a lot less work for everyone involved. They were essentially an excuse to hang out with your best friends. Enter college. Now, group projects are nightmares where you end up doing all of the work for people you will never see again. YOU’RE WELCOME, CHAD. YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT DIPLOMA.

2. When you see the names of the other people in your group.

Who Are You

3. The initial meeting.

Nothing In Common

4. When the roles of each team member becomes apparent:

The Team Leader

Julius

Everyone actually likes this person because their ideas don’t suck and they get things done.

The Know-It-All

Eye Roll 2

We get it, you’re, like, soooooo smart. Shhhh.

Little Miss Bossy

Shut Your Mouth

Acts like they do all the work, but really they just have to insert their voice into every conversation.

The Team Cheerleader

Stop Talking

Might think they’re helping, but really, everyone else just kind of tunes them out.

The Person Who Agrees with Everything

Confused

Honestly, how are you helping? Do you even know what you’re agreeing to? You’re literally just saying the word “yeah” after each person offers an opposing view in a disagreement.

The Kid Who Has Excuses for EVERY Group Meeting

Take Responsibility

Oh really? Your car died again? How inconvenient, considering you work 80 hours per week and just came down with Ebola.

The One Person Who is Just Kind Of…There

Doesn't Even Go Here

Guys, did we assign him a task? I literally can’t remember his name. Is he even in our group?

The Kid Who Actually Does What They Say They’re Going To Do

Real MVP

For the most part, this kid just keeps their head down. That’s cool, man. Thanks for not being a terrible human being. You the real MVP.

The “How Can I Help?” Guy

Why So Stupid

By not asking how you can help every ten seconds, that’s how. Just grab your laptop and get to work.

The Slacker

Let Me Down

This person doesn’t do anything, but feels entitled to judge the outcome of the project. No, no, you did not earn that right.

5. The first time you attempt to work on the project and you realize you’re in way over your head.

Scared

6. When you meet with your group a second time and you realize you’re down to half of the people you started with.

All In This Together

Pause, not.

7. All Nighter #1.

Diet Coke

IhatemygroupIhatemygroupIhatemygroupIhatemygroupIhatemygroup.

8. When you sneak a peek at some of the other groups’ projects and you realize how terrible both your group and your project are.

So Jealous

Are they hugging? Oh my gosh they’re literally going to be in each other’s weddings, that’s how well they’re getting along. Why don’t they just go ahead and submit their project for a Nobel Prize because I AM SO DONE RIGHT NOW.

9. When you meet with your professor to calmly “address some concerns” you might have with your group’s ability to complete the project in a timely fashion.

Isn't Fair

Code for: “THERE ARE THREE OF US DOING THE WORK OF TEN PEOPLE RIGHT NOW AND IT’S NOT EVEN FAIR BECAUSE LOOK AT HOW YOU STACKED THE OTHER TEAMS AND I DIDN’T SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND I WANT TO DROP OUT AND I’M DYING.”

10. When the professor assures you that everyone else is going through the same feelings right now and that you’ll get it all done.

Don't Believe You

11. All Nighter #2.

Bunny

12. When you’re just so done with the project and you realize there’s still so much more to do.

Duct Tape

Does anyone else want to help me or…?

13. The day before the group project is due when everyone is freaking out via group text/e-mail thread.

Surrounded by Idiots

You want to be like, “THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING FOR WEEKS.” But instead, you’re just like:

Whatever

14. All Nighter #3.

Don't Deserve This

I’ve had five hours of sleep in the last 72 hours and at this point I’m not sure where reality ends and my dysfunctional imagination begins.

15. When you give in and decide to go to sleep for two hours, wake up early, and finish the project.

Tiana

16. WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND YOU’RE SO FREAKED OUT THAT THE PROJECT ISN’T DONE SO YOU JUST JUMP OUT OF BED AND START WORKING BECAUSE YOU JUST HAD TWO WHOLE HOURS OF SLEEP AND OMG YOU’RE NOT SURE IF YOU’RE DELIRIOUS OR YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ENERGY BUT OMG THE PROJECT IS DUE IN FOUR HOURS.

Wake Up

17. The sweet, beautiful moment that you thought might never come when the project is actually complete, and you just kind of stare at it in disbelief.

So Beautiful

18. When your group asks to see the project before you turn it in, and they all thank you for your hard work.

One Man Wolfpack

And they’re waiting for you to thank them for their hard work, too.

Don't Be Cocky

19. The sense of relief you feel when you hand in the project.

Dying

Internally, you’re still freaking out over one last thing you could’ve perfected, and on the other hand you’re like, “NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE.”

20. That first long nap you take after the project is over.

Nap Right Here

21. When the professor tells you that you will be evaluating your team members based on their performances.

Revenge

Karma, my friends.

22. When people from your group still try to get everyone together after the project is over. Um, no.

We're Not Friends

23. When you finally receive your grade.

Self Five

In the end, somehow, it all seems worth it. You remember that you’re in school to make good grades, earn a degree, and find a solid career. More importantly, it’s obvious to others who the hard workers are in life. If you’re one of those people, you’ll go far. If you’re a slacker, well, I’ll take my fries Super-Sized, thank you.

via Twitter

What are some of your group project horror stories? Share them with the hashtag #BanGroupProjects2014 and I might retweet you!

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