Your Guide to the 2015 Academy Awards

February 1st was perhaps one of the saddest days of the year this year, as it marked the official end of the football season. Baseball won’t start for a few more weeks, and honestly, who cares about basketball? With that being said, there is one good thing about this time of year, and that is award season!

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My favorite of the awards shows is the pinnacle — the Academy Awards — or as some of you miscreants prefer to call it, the Oscars. With eight incredible and diverse nominations for Best Picture, and five über-talented stars for both actor and actress, the 2015 Academy Awards are shaping up to be an exciting event. Let’s break down the nominations:

Best Picture

American Sniper — An intense drama about an American Hero with a beautiful family. And, um, hello Bradley Cooper! You can’t go wrong.

Birdman — A washed-up actor struggling with regret and ego problems? How original.

Boyhood — All you need to know about this film is that President Barack Obama named it his favorite film of last year. Do with that information what you will.

The Grand Budapest Hotel — If you saw The Royal Tenenbaums, then you saw this film. Next.

The Imitation Game — Fascinating. Enthralling. Brilliant. I only understood about half of it. Give it an Oscar.

Selma — I had such high hopes for this film, but unfortunately, I believe the filmmakers relied too much on Oprah’s celebrity to boost the film. Not enough artistic value to win an Academy Award in my opinion.

The Theory of Everything — A bit long, but beautifully done. This movie shows the untold romantic version of Stephen Hawking’s life. I would not be sad if this film won.

Whiplash — I’m sorry, which movie?

Best Actor

Steve Carell, Foxcatcher — It’s always a bit off-putting to see comedians switch into serious roles, but Steve Carell does an amazing job in Foxcatcher. A+ for sure.

Bradley Cooper, American Sniper — Very, very good. Better acting than I could ever do. But, dare I ask, Oscar worthy?

Benedict Cumberbatch, The Imitation Game — Again, another great film, but I’m not sure Benedict Cumberbatch’s acting quite lived up to the brilliant writing and directing of The Imitation Game.

Michael Keaton, Birdman — I mean, yeah. I can see it.

Eddie Redmayne, The Theory of Everything — HE PLAYED STEPHEN HAWKING SLOWLY DEVELOPING MOTOR NEURONE DISEASE AND IT WASN’T OFFENSIVE. IT WAS INCREDIBLE AND TEAR-PROVOKING. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.

Best Actress

Marion Cotillard, Two Days, One Night — Snore.

Felecity Jones, The Theory of Everything — Yeah, it’s impressive the film was nominated for so many Academy Awards, but her performance was nowhere near as phenomenal as her costar’s.

Julianne Moore, Still Alice — I am not going to lie, I did not see this one. I won’t even try to fake a review.

Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl — Seriously? This film was way too Hollywood blockbuster to be worthy of any Oscars in my opinion. And her performance was just so…bleh. I think the Academy just threw it in there so both Best Actor and Best Actress would have five nominations.

Reese Witherspoon, Wild — She essentially carries the movie. The movie is just her, and it’s still riveting. This is a no-brainer.

Best Supporting Actor

Robert Duvall, The Judge — Eh.

Ethan Hawke, Boyhood — No.

Edward Norton, Birdman — Yes.

Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher — Double yes.

J.K. Simmons, Whiplash — We. Are. Farmers. Ba ba dum da da da dum.

Best Supporting Actress

Patricia Arquette, Boyhood — Eh.

Laura Dern, Wild — No.

Keira Knightley, The Imitation Game — Eh.

Emma Stone, Birdman — Yes.

Meryl Streep, Into the Wild — What’s new?

Best Animated Feature Film

Frozen did not come out last year, so who cares?

Best Cinematography

Please, not The Grand Budapest Hotel. We get your weird style of filmmaking, Wes Anderson. We get it. Go home.

My vote: Birdman.

Best Costume Design

The Grand Budapest Hotel or Into the Wild. I would say Maleficent, but I don’t want anything associated with Angelina Jolie to win. #TeamAnistonForever

Best Director

Anything but The Grand Budapest Hotel. Okay, I really didn’t hate the movie, the style of it just drove me nuts. Like…why did I never feel settled into its plot or characters? Ugh.

…Beyond this point, who really cares? The only other part of the Academy Awards worth watching isn’t even officially part of the show — it’s the red carpet! Personally, I can’t wait to see what everyone wears.

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If you’re not into the cultural aspect of the Academy Awards like I am, you can still enjoy by playing a fun drinking game, like this one from BuzzFeed. The Academy Awards start this Sunday, February 22 at 7 p.m. EST. Lights, camera, action, cheers!

Who do you think will win in each of these categories? What are your Oscar party plans? Tell me on Twitter and I might retweet you!

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