Crawl, Don’t Walk

For those of you who don’t know, yesterday was, like, a really big deal. First and foremost, it was Queen Taylor’s 25th birthday.

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Second, yesterday was 12-13-14, the last sequential date any of us will ever see in our lifetimes. (Unless you don’t smoke, eat all of your vegetables, and live to be over 100. #Goals).

The most important part of yesterday, however, took place after the sun went down. Yes, yesterday, all over the nation, people suited up and partied down for the annual Santa Crawl. For those of you who live under a rock or somehow don’t know, the Santa Crawl is an annual event in which thousands of people go bar-to-bar in their raunchiest holiday attire and get lit like Christmas trees. Cause, you know…the holidays.

Reno, Santa Crawl

Reno Santa Crawl 2013

See? I was not lying when I said literally thousands of people attend this annual event. It’s only, like, the biggest event of the year. During the Santa Crawl, it seems that everywhere you turn, you can find nutcrackers, snowmen, and of course, plenty of Santa Clauses, all partaking in a glass of spiked egg nog or three. Ne’er was a merrier time on the tinsel-lined streets of downtown Reno.

This year, over 50 bars in downtown Reno hosted DJs, costume contests, drink specials, and free cover charges in honor of the festivities.

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Trying to stop by each venue is nearly impossible, and with the freezing temperatures and long lines, attempting to do so would essentially ruin the entire night. That’s why it’s best to just stick to one of the designated circuits: Candy Cane Lane (for the uncreative drunks), Santa’s Workshop (pepper spray recommended), Naughty Alley (only if you’re over 30), Elves’ Playground (no height limit), or Reindeer Town (for those who grow their beards organically).

Seeing that it was my last Santa Crawl in Reno (although I do look forward to my first D.C. Santa Crawl), I decided to make last night a memorable one.

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One of the most important decisions one must make when deciding to crawl is, of course, the choice of costume. For my first crawl, when I was “21” I was a present…

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Notice the red satin, which conveniently tied into a bow in the back.

When I was 21, I was a gingerbread girl…

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Pre-people ripping off my gumdrop buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons 💔😭

So this year, as a 6-foot-tall 22-year-old, I decided to go as the tallest elf in history…

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#PenthouseBalconyLife #QuickTakeAPictureBeforeIFreeze

 Besides, maybe, this elf…

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I must say, last night was one for the books. There’s no time like the Santa Crawl to deck the dolls in red and green, get merloaded, and meet someone special under the mistletoe. Thank you to every friend I ever had the chance to crawl with, thank you to my friends with the penthouse balcony for keeping the wine flowing before the real party began, and thank you to the Reno Santa Crawl for giving me three amazing nights during my time here.

Do you have a funny picture from your city’s Santa Crawl? Tweet them to me and I might retweet you!

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